last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
