Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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