We named our party play list daddy issues
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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