So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
