just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
