I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
