dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I deserve this hangover.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
