I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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