What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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