I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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