I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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