I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Randomize
