Don't you send me to vm
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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