i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
