Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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