No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
