I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
you mean i was at the winter classic?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
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