I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
