I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
