He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
