i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
