Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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