awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
