can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Randomize