Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
