There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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