porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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