All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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