we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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