My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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