i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
