I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
