he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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