Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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