Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I think I won the penis lottery.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
