i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
