I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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