kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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