I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
