Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
sex in a hospital.. check
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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