Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
That reminds me...we need to get swords
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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