this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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