Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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