The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize