every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
