9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
