If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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