oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
