I wannas sexs uuuuu
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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