this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
