I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I need a beard to bite.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize