Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
