His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
