Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
