you guys were way drunker than both of me
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
