Can Purell be used as lube?
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
