I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
