Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
the condom got lost in my hair
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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