Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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