she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
