At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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