I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
