i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
We're too hungover to prance.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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