I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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