I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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