My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I have fence marks all over my body
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
