dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
