Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i barfeds in our rink
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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