You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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