I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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